Who Am I? What do you see?

Expressing emotions through photographic art

Capturing true emotions in a photograph is never easy. People are generally shy about showing how they really feel to a stranger or the outside world. Even to themselves. In an age of selfies, that’s perhaps even more true and you could say self-portraits are simply everywhere these days. As a photographer, for me a true selfie or self-portrait is a work of Fine Art Photography, creating a real sense of self reflected in art.

Yes I mean through my photography, but also through how I approach and experience the work of other artists or the creations in the world around us. I want my self-portraits to speak honestly to me and to you – about me, about you, about the world.

They could tell one story of my personality – they could tell a multitude of stories depending on your interpretation. They may scream out to you how I felt on that particular day, or perhaps whisper quietly how I feel in general.

Who do you see when you look in the mirror from one day to the next?

At some point, all of us look to find the person we once knew or the person we hope to become – and whether we like it or not the person staring back is who we are right at the moment. In a fine art self-portrait photograph you can often see so much more – and it’s open to interpretation of course.

You can see light. You can see dark. Shadows. Hope. Fear. Joy. Loneliness. Happiness. Fragility. Wonder. Strength. Weakness. Bravery. Solitude. Cowardice. Shame. Guilt. Innocence. Death. Birth. Rebirth. Freedom. Confinement. Confidence. Confusion. And so much more.

Likewise, a self-portrait, like any art, also makes you feel something. It could be sympathy, happiness, sadness, joy, concern, intrigue, indifference.

What you see or feel when you look at a self-portrait could be completely different to what someone else sees. It could be completely different to what I see. You will always be left with questions and uncertainties. The only thing everyone will see for sure when they look at a self-portrait is the photographer or artist who created it. And you know what? I love that.

When it all comes together

Here is a self portrait I took as I explored the Museum of Contemporary Art in Krakow (MOCAK) straight after Nick and I had visited Oskar Schindler’s Enamel Factory Museum just next door.

Reflecting My Mind – A Self Portrait by Gail Rajgor, November 2017.

Taken at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Krakow (MOCAK).

It was quite an emotional day, as you can imagine, but both museums were amazing for entirely different reasons. After the Schindler Museum I was in a bit of a reflective mood – this sums it up well I think, literally and figuratively, as well as giving you a hint of what I actually look like (something we traditionally associate with a self-portrait).

But for me, this image captures so much more about me. Who I am, how I was feeling on the day, how I was feeling when I edited the photo, the fragility of my mind at times, my renewed journey of self-discovery and self-healing, all of it, after some fairly tough times – physically and emotionally – in my life.

I did take other reflected self-portraits at other places in the museum – there was plenty of reflective glass elsewhere. But this one just worked particularly well.

It carries within it my history, the experiences in my life and how they have impacted me, along with my hopes for a sense of freedom in several regards. It asks questions of where I have been and where I am going in life, as well as with my photography. Plus it was challenging to create, photographically speaking.

Why this photo in that place?

The artwork installation of the bulky continuous white chain splitting my reflected self in half caught my photographic eye of opportunity at first. Then the jigsaw puzzle of panels on the wall cutting through me and the whole upper half of the frame in multiple places. The look of the wall bar behind me also cutting through me.

The contrasts in the light down below and the varying shades of dark up above. The fact I look like a ghost, my hand touching the chain that is breaking my body in two, yet somehow keeping it together.

I loved it all and more – so I had no option but to try and get a good photograph. To me – it all summed up precisely how I felt deep inside my mind and my heart. My post-production adjustments simply reflect that even more. I hope I did myself proud.

Mirroring my mind

So, as is the point of most self-portraits, that photograph mirrors my state of mind at the time and tries to tell that story. The photograph below is another case in point. Again, it’s a self-portrait I took at MOCAK making use of another reflective material, in this case clearly a mirror that formed part of a different art installation.

Pondering My Heart – A Self Portrait by Gail Rajgor, November 2017.

Taken at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Krakow (MOCAK).

The mirror had a big red heart drawn on it, along with a few lipstick kisses. The graffiti on the dull grey steel walls also includes messages of love. On some of the walls, there were some fabulous black and white photos, which you can see reflected in the mirror.

I called this photo Pondering My Heart – but is that an homage to my love of photography and desire to be a professional photographer or is it for a lover in my life perhaps?

What do you think I am looking at in the photo? The pictures on the wall or the big red heart? I’ll leave that one for you to figure out – it will unlock the key to my heart!

While this second photo is completely different from the first one (you can see me more clearly for a start – yikes), it again captures many of the same things about me and draws out much the same feelings in me as the first.

And yet, when I look at both photographs, I see different things every time and I still have questions.

Oh yes, they both leave me with countless questions. That’s their power I guess. But right now tell me – what do you see? How do you think I felt? What do these photographs say to you?

Cheers,

Gail

P.S if you ever have the chance to visit MOCAK then go. It’s wonderful. 

SEE MORE FROM GAIL RAJGOR PHOTOGRAPHY

View Life Through My Lens. Visit my website to find out more about me and my love of photography, and visit my Travel Bug Collection, which will take you to Prague, Krakow, Chania, Budapest, Malta, Barcelona and beyond as well as show you why Suffolk, where I live, is a beautiful county you should definitely put on your travel list. You can also check out a few little Life Lessons Through A Lens.

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If you would like to use a photo or discuss how I could help you with your editorial or fine art travel photography needs or any other photography project you can, of course, contact me by clicking here or calling 07921 258583.

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